She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
