just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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