spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
