i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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