Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
