dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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