i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
