I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
