The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
