cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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