I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
time to smoke my breakfast
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
