My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
