Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
