Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize