what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
