Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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