I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Less talking, more tequila
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
