I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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