if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
