really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
