and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
you never un-have a 4some
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
