he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
