he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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