He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
