After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
