Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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