he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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