shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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