I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
