Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
