Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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