So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
