He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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