He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
