I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
