Your tits are I can't wait for
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i think my cat just said my name.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
