I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
