Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
