I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
