I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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