In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
babies were throwing up all over the place
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
