So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
