We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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