He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
