What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
