I want to make a zoo with you.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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