He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
