He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
