girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
