i think my mom watched the whole time
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
