how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
